sadly ganesha

test

test post

ek budda

ek budda bachpan me hi mar gaya

:D

Santa's medical allowance

Santa along with a woman, went to the doctor. The doctor asked, What can I do for you? Santa said, Will you watch us have sexual intercourse . The doctor looked puzzled but agreed.

When Santa has finished, the doctor said there is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse, and he charged them 100 Rs for the visit.

This happened several weeks in a row.

Finally the doctor asked, just exactly what are you trying to find out?

Santa replied, We are not trying to find out anything.

She is married so I can't go to her house. I am married so she cannot come to my house.

The Hotel Sunbeam charges 450 Rs for the room and Hotel Batra 400 Rs for that. We do it here for just 100 Rs and i get back 70 Rs from my medical allowances.

the fastest thing

Four guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT university and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly
in your mind.

MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the
worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE
LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

postion 69

Once a girl is quite fantasised about "69". She has a regular boyfriend they have never done it before. One day she invites her boyfriend to her apartment for romantic dinner. After heavy dinner, she tells him that she wants to do "69". But the Boyfriend doesn't have any idea about what is 69. Girlfriend gets upset but thinks that she can teach him how to do 69. she asks him to lay down...and she then lays on top of him in reverse direction so as in 69. The boyfriend is confused but is eager to know about 69. so he does as the GF tells him to do.
They lay down in this position for about 2 min. she is thinking that He will, by the time, get excited by this but suddenly the GF has to let go one Fart...directly on her BF's face. GF quickly apologizes and asks him to stay in that position for some more time.
After 1 min she has to let go one another fart....this time bigger than the previous. The BF quickly throws her away, gets up, starts dressing up and yells at her.. "If you think I am gonna take 67 more like this, you are MAD"

man and woman

It's really not difficult...To make a woman happy; a man only needs
to be:

01. a friend

02. a companion

03. a lover

04. a brother

05. a father

06. a master

07. a chef

08. an electrician

09. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynaecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organiser

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate



WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly

45. love shopping

46. be honest

47. be very rich

48. not stress her out

49. not look at other girls



AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention,

51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes



IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:

* birthdays

* anniversaries

* arrangements she makes



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY IS SIMPLE:-

01. Feed him (IMPORTANT)

02. Sleep with him (VERY IMPORTANT, REPEAT)

03. Leave him in peace (VERY VERY IMPORTANT)

the new joinee

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

"Bring me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone

for Dad

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him,
was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his Situation:-

Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant
my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

Love,
Dad.

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

"For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug p the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was:

"Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here."

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE RIGHT JOB

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation; if they are counting the bricks put them in the accounts department. If they are recounting them put them in auditing. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order put them in planning. If they are throwing the bricks at each other put them in operations. If they are sleeping put them in security. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in information technology. If they are sitting idle, put them in top mgt